Of Life and Guilt
by SarahSoph
Summary: My first CSI Miami fic. Horatio has been shot. Will he or will he not survive? While another CSI is left feeling guilty about the shooting. *on permament hold*
1. Default Chapter

Of Life and Guilt

By SarahSoph

Disclaimer- None of the characters belong to me. They really belong to CBS etc, I just like to pretend.

A/N: In my mind Speed hasn't died yet and he never will. It helps that us Aussie's haven't seen Lost Son yet. Also inspiration for the title came from my friend Sam, whose suggestion I tweaked, then he tweaked again to make it sound even better. This is dedicated to him.

* * *

He stood watching her from the doorway. He didn't know how long he'd been standing there. A long time at least. Just standing. Watching her.

She was so different to the way he was used to seeing her. He was used to the bright no-matter-what attitude, coupled with the never-fading smile and the cheerful as always voice with that accent he liked so much.

Now what he saw in front of him looked like a fallen angel, sullen.

He stepped forward, thinking it was about time to make his presence known. She didn't look up, didn't seem to register at all that he was in the room.

"It's not your fault you know."

Still she didn't look up, but he'd seen her jump at his voice.

He grew closer til he was standing right next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up into his eyes and he didn't like what he saw in them. Worry, pain, guilt.

She spoke softly. "We both know that's not true. I was there. I could've stopped it." She looked away.

"You didn't know what was going to happen, neither of you did; and what if Horatio'd been there alone, no-one would have called 911 and the guy would have got away. You did all you could."

She didn't say anything to that just changed the subject. "What if he doesn't make it? Have you heard anything?"

"Eric's down there right now. I think Alexx is with him. As far as I know nothing's changed. But he'll make it Cal. Horatio's strong, he'll fight."

She nodded and he knew there wasn't much else he could say in the way of reassurance. They would have to and see how Horatio faired.

Tim reached down to give her a hug, which was normally out of character for him, but he thought she looked like she needed one. They could use all the support they could get now that their fearless leader wasn't around to hold them together. Calleigh hugged him back with the greatest amount of energy he'd seen in her since the shooting. As he pulled back, he drew her to her feet and looked around.

"Looks like you've still got some work to do to finish off the case. Need a hand?"

Calleigh nodded as she pulled herself together, taking a deep breath. It was then that Speed noticed the few tears running down her cheeks. He reached out to wipe them away before turning to the work ahead of them.

"Come on. Let's get started."


	2. He's Horatio

Of Life and Guilt

Chapter 2

A/N: Finally updating. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Eric handed Alexx the coffee, before sinking into the chair next to her. He rested his head in his hands, not bothering with his own coffee now resting on the arm of the chair.

They all felt guilty over what had happened to Horatio, but he knew Calleigh was feeling worse than anyone, having been there at the time. That's why he's volunteered to go with Alexx. They were taking it in shifts over who would be at the hospital waiting for news. He knew the best person to be with Calleigh would be Speed. His quiet, unassuming nature would be good for her, whereas Eric knew he would probably end up pushing her too hard despite his best attempts to avoid it.

It'd been over a day since the shooting. Horatio had come out of surgery a while ago, but still hadn't woken up. The doctors were still undecided about his chances of survival. The only thing that was certain was the longer he took to wake up, the less likely it became that he would.

As soon as any news was forthcoming, whoever was waiting at the hospital would call the other two, whether they were at the lab or at home, any time of the day or night. They all cared a lot about their so-called leader.

Eric sighed, making Alexx look up. "He'll make it, honey." She said with conviction despite the worry so plain in her face.

"Yeah, I know, It's just…" Eric paused for a moment gathering his thoughts together. "It's just so serious. I can't help but worry that … he won't."

Alexx reached over and rubbed his back. "I know. But it's Horatio." She didn't have to say any more to comfort him. Just her presence was enough. Alexx was like that with people. She was always so calm and collected, so sympathetic that some of it seemed to rub off on the people around her.

After a few more minutes of silence they saw Horatio's doctor come out of his room. They hadn't been allowed in there, the doctor's thinking it better if he was only visited by family for now, not realising that they were 'family' too, if not in the literal sense.

Yelina had spent most of the past few days in there, technically being considered family. She was gone for the moment though; she'd had to get Ray Jr. from school.

They started to stand up in the hope that there was some good news to be heard, but the doctor saw them and shook his head, before walking down the corridor.

Both sank back down into the chairs. It was another few minutes before either one spoke, both having drained their coffees by then, having desperately needed the caffeine it provided.

It was a few whispered words from Alexx.

"He's Horatio."

* * *

Let me know what you think. Sorry it's so short, but this is all I have so far. I'm not quite sure where to go from here. So reviews will give me inspiration (so will direct statements of what you would like to see. **Hint**) 


End file.
